Flying with a Toddler

I have been meaning to write this post for weeks now but since I just wrote about changing diapers on a plane yesterday, I thought it would be appropriate to continue with the topic of flying.  For the most part, many of the recommendations that I made in my flying with an infant post still apply to flying with a toddler.  However, it appears that since that post, many airlines are no longer allowing pre-boarding for families with young children.  I think this is especially terrible when traveling with a toddler.  Toddlers are at an age where they're beginning to assert some independence and having extra time to board without too many distractions is a great benefit.  When flying, unfortunately, many of us are at the mercy of the airlines and I hope that my experiences can help some of you have a more enjoyable experience.

Flying with a toddler can be uncomfortable if they are still being held on your lap without their own seat during the flight.  There are two devices that I started flying with to help ease the "pain" of flying with a lap child.  The first was a Baby B'Air Flight Vest.  This is a vest that you can put over the baby and attach to your seat belt.  It is designed to "tether" your baby so they don't go flying out of your arms during turbulence.  It is not FAA approved for take offs and landings but for the cruising portion of the flight.  I have to admit that I was very happy to have this device after we experienced over two hours of turbulence on our flight to Spain.  It wasn't the worst turbulence I ever felt but definitely the longest.  We couldn't get any food, beverages or even use the bathroom during that time.  It just left me a little more at ease knowing my baby wouldn't fly out of my arms during turbulence.

Another device that I always pack in the event of an open seat on our flight is the CARES harness.  It is FAA approved and you can use this in lieu of a car seat for children that weigh at least 22 pounds.  On our way back to the US from Spain, there was an empty seat in our row that we were able to safely secure our toddler to the seat.  It is lightweight and folds compactly and it doesn't take much room in our carry-on luggage.  Since we travel a lot, it is worth the investment since we'll be using it on every flight now that our toddler is over two years old and we are required to buy a seat for him.  It sure beats lugging the car seat around the airport!  We did not have it on our flight to Rome which we regretted.  There was an empty seat on that flight as well but since we checked in his carseat, we had no way to secure him to the seat during the flight.

I think one of the big things with flying with a toddler is to be prepared with lots of distractions.  I pack a separate bag filled with "goodies" for the flight.  I stow that under the seat in front of me so it is easily accessible.  I bring a snack cup and a bag of snacks to put in the cup.  I also use a "secure a toy" to help keep it from falling on the ground.  I also pack his favorite sippy cup and tether that with a strap to also keep it from falling.

I've learned that on shorter flights, they may not always have milk available on board.  If that is the case, it is not a bad idea to buy some milk at the airport before boarding.  I thought I would outsmart the TSA and bring boxed milk with me but they made me open it so they could test a sample.  Lesson learned.  It is easier to just buy it at the airport than trying to bring it from home.  When I was breastfeeding, it wasn't an issue but as my toddler began weaning, having milk available suddenly became very important.  There is nothing like having a screaming toddler on the plane crying for milk when there is none available.

I also buy one new book and bring it out during the flight.  Thankfully my toddler enjoys reading so a good book is always something that can keep him occupied.  I also make sure to pack some of his favorite books to bring something familiar from home to remind him of his usual "routine."  I also make an album of pictures for him.  I buy those cheap plastic picture albums and fill it with pictures of our dog, his grandparents, cousins, friends, etc.  I try to find pictures that I know will bring him comfort in unfamiliar surroundings.  I use a cheap album and prints of digital pictures so he is free to bend pages without fear of damaging important photographs.

I also pack his pajamas so when it is "bedtime," I try to mimic our usual bedtime routine as close as possible.  I change him into his pajamas, read him a book and give him his blanket and stuffed animal to cuddle with.  Luckily he is not "attached" to a specific blanket or stuffed animal so his travel blanket with ties (made by ROSK) and his backpack "child safety harness" doubles as a stuffed animal.

What is a child safety harness?  It is basically a backpack that a child straps to his body that is connected to a strap that a parent can hold.  The purpose is for parents to keep their toddler "attached" to them to avoid them from wandering off and getting lost or hurt.  It can be controversial since many parents oftentimes compare it to a "leash."  I for one, have no problem using them since I know especially when in an different environment, kids can wander off and get lost.  I use it a lot at the airport to prevent him from getting lost amongst the hundreds of travelers.  It is also especially handy when we venture out at home.  Being 35 weeks pregnant, I'm not necessarily as fast as I used to be and chasing after a toddler can be downright dangerous since he outruns me these days.

As an absolute last resort, I also pack our old iPhone.  I load old pictures and videos on it and have his favorite movie on it as well.  He has never really watched a movie other than on an airplane before and even with the limited exposure, he has grown quite fond of the Cars movies.  I can let him play with it without fear of him mistakenly deleting pictures on our phones (which he's done before).  It is also nice to have at our destination since we can use the GPS features without fear of being charged outrageous data roaming prices.

To make my life a little more bearable on the flight, I pack a reusable wide-mouth water bottle.  I've had more than one occasion where my little guy reached for my inflight beverage and spilled it everywhere.  It is easier to just have the flight attendant pour the drink into the cup so a lid can be tightly fastened over it.  It is also handy to have at your destination for filling up on the go.  It was nice to have in Rome with all of their public water fountains.

Eating on the flight with a toddler as a lap child can be quite the challenge.  I pack a bowl with lid and an eating mat along with a bib and utensils.  I always pack the bowl with lid so I can store food and have it ready if he is not ready to eat when they bring food around.  We've also discovered that stacking two trays on top of each other will allow one parent to eat while the other holds the toddler.  It can be tricky but worth it when you're hungry.  Obviously, if you were on a short flight with no food, it is always a good idea to pack food for the flight because kids get hungry quite frequently.  I either bring food from home or buy some at the airport before boarding.  Once again, the bowl with lid is handy for storing food until they're ready to eat.

It's been a few months since our last trip and I am already going through travel withdrawal.  With the baby due in a few weeks, I don't think we're going anywhere anytime soon.  I'm sure I'm probably forgetting something but if I am, I'll just write another post at a later time.  My severe lack of sleep due to pregnancy insomnia is making my thinking a little cloudy at the moment.  Please write a comment if you have any questions or if you have any suggestions.

Changing Diapers on a Plane

I stumbled upon an interesting blog post last night while reading a newspaper online.  The post was titled, "Where should parents change diapers on planes?"  The title alone really caught my attention.  As I alluded to on an earlier blog post, "flying with an infant," you never know when you may encounter a "pooplosion" on an airplane.  When that happens, where do you change the diaper?

Back in November, I flew solo with my 18-month old as a lap-child when he decided to poop right as we were taking off.  Since the seat belt sign was illuminated, I could not leave to change his diaper in the bathroom.  I was very aware of the passengers seated next to me and even though I was tempted to change him at my seat, I waited until the seat belt sign was turned off so I could change his diaper in the bathroom.  In the meantime, he was smelly and uncomfortable from his dirty diaper.  All of the squirming made his diaper leak and his pants began to get soiled.  When it was safe to leave my seat, I immediately made a beeline to the bathroom.

As any parent who has tried to change a diaper in an airplane bathroom will tell you, it is not a pleasant experience.  It is tiny, smelly and dirty.  If there is a changing table in the bathroom (which is usually right above the toilet in the line of fire of any airborne particles), it is probably full of bacteria and any curious toddler will try to touch and grab things around him (however disgusting that may be).  To help with some of that, I put several layers of toilet seat covers over the table and my changing pad on top of that.  Despite all of this "prep" work, my toddler refused for me to use the table.

It turns out that my toddler was too freaked out for me to put him anywhere.  He suddenly became very clingy when I tried to put him down to change the diaper.  Since the diaper had to come off, I literally had to hold him against my body with one arm and pull off his clothes and diaper with the other.  I dangled him under his armpits all the while trying clean him and avoid getting any poop on myself.  I also had to balance all of this so as not to touch the toilet or drop anything on that nasty floor.  If this was caught on video, it would have easily made it onto America's Funniest Home Videos.  This was quite the ordeal for both of us but we managed to do it after occupying the restroom for several minutes.

After reading the post last night, I couldn't help but think that it would have been easier if I could have just changed him at my seat.  My fellow passengers could smell him anyway and the friendlier confines of the seat would have made him more comfortable.  By the end of our bathroom ordeal, we were both covered in poop (which it is why I will always pack extra clothes for the both of us going forward) and we were probably smellier after the fact than if we could do it quicker and probably cleaner at our seat. I know it would be considered extremely rude by other passengers but this was a situation that seriously made me think about throwing etiquette out the window.  Frequent travelers are already upset at parents traveling with children and the airlines are making it increasingly difficult to travel with children.  Why not give travelers another experience they won't soon forget?  What do you think?  Would you be offended if a desperate mother who is traveling alone with a toddler changed his diaper at her seat?

As if Traveling with Kids Weren't Hard Enough...

Over the last few weeks, I have stumbled across several articles and blogs which describe the difficulties parents face when flying with children.  It seems the airlines are making it exceedingly difficult for families to fly.  In an earlier blog post, about Flying With an Infant, I had encouraged people to take advantage of early boarding for families offered by airlines.  Unfortunately, it appears a growing number of airlines are not allowing families with kids to board early.  Many of these articles and posts have arisen after United Airlines announced that they were eliminating this in time for the busy summer travel season.  The rationale for eliminating pre-boarding?  "We figured it would be better to simplify that process and reduce the number of boarding groups," said United spokesman Charles Hobart.

How is this going to simplify the process?  When you're trying to juggle a squirming infant or toddler AND luggage, it helps to have extra time to get everything settled.  I have traveled by myself with my baby on several occasions and having that extra time really helps.  The flight attendants are usually free to assist you and you do not have to hold up other passengers from boarding the plane while you get your luggage stowed.

An angry mother even started an online petition on change.org to get United to change its policy back to allow families early boarding.  Nearly 37,000 people have already signed this online petition.  It will be interesting to note if this will bring about any change in United's policy.  I suppose only time will tell if this new policy will cause more hassles and delays in the boarding process.

Another "unfamily friendly" practice regarding the airlines recently making the news ahead of the busy travel season is that "airlines are reserving a growing number of window and aisle seats for passengers willing to pay extra. That's helping to boost revenue but also making it harder for friends and family members who don't pay this fee to sit next to each other. At the peak of the summer travel season, it might be nearly impossible."  Airlines are literally holding seats "hostage."  "Frequent business travelers used to get stuck with middle seats even though their last-minute fares were two or three times higher than the average. Now, airlines are setting aside more window and aisle seats for their most frequent fliers at no extra cost."  "To travelers who haven't earned 'elite' status in a frequent flier program, flights often appear full even though they are not. These casual travelers end up paying extra for an aisle or window seat believing they have no other option.  But as flights get closer many of the seats airlines had set aside for those willing to pay a premium do become available — at no extra cost."

I have been on one too many flights where I have seen parents being seated away from their children.  It is awful seeing them have to beg and plead with their fellow passengers to switch seats so they can be seated next to their children.  What's worse, in my opinion, are the airlines who are pitting passengers against passengers.  It seems as if they are purposefully trying to make the travel experience as painful as possible.  What if someone really did spend more money to get that coveted aisle or window seat?  Why should they have to feel "obligated" to switch seats so that a family can sit together?  Why would the airlines ever think it's a good idea to have a toddler or young child sit by themselves away from their parents on a flight?  This just boggles my mind.  We haven't experienced this situation in any of our flights thus far but we may face this very real possibility on future flights.  What do you think?  Do you think the airlines have gone too far?

My 2-Year Old Does Not Watch Television

Another topic that I have been wanting to address is television use by children under 2 and beyond.  I do not let my child watch television and I don't intend to in the near future.  He just turned two and I don't think it is necessary or a good thing to have him "entertained" by a television or other electronic media at his age (he'll have the rest of his life to do that).  I have heard many comments from well-intentioned people telling me that I am "depriving" my child of television when it is "educational."  I do agree that television can be educational but there is a time and place for that.  A child as young as my little one does not need the constant stimulation.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recently updated their policy statement addressing media use in children in October 2011.  "The AAP discourages media use by children younger than 2 years.  Unstructured playtime is more valuable for the developing brain than any electronic media exposure. If a parent is not able to actively play with a child, that child should have solo playtime with an adult nearby. Even for infants as young as 4 months of age, solo play allows a child to think creatively, problem-solve, and accomplish tasks with minimal parent interaction. The parent can also learn something in the process of giving the child an opportunity to entertain himself or herself while remaining nearby."  A television or other electronic media is not a substitute for the interaction between a parent and child.  

A study published in 2007 in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine found that "By 3 months of age, about 40% of children regularly watched television, DVDs, or videos. By 24 months, this proportion rose to 90%. The median age at which regular media exposure was introduced was 9 months. Among those who watched, the average viewing time per day rose from 1 hour per day for children younger than 12 months to more than 1.5 hours per day by 24 months. Parents watched with their children more than half of the time. Parents gave education, entertainment, and babysitting as major reasons for media exposure in their children younger than 2 years."


I find these statistics astounding considering that it has not been proven that watching television or engaging in any form of electronic media in children under 2 has had any educational benefit.  Heavy media use has been "associated with obesity, sleep issues, aggressive behaviors, and attention issues in preschool- and school-aged children."  It may also cause eye strain if a child sits too close to the television (which I know many young children do).   

I admit that my husband and I both have our vices.  He likes to watch his baseball games on television and I am highly addicted to the Internet.  It's not easy to cut ourselves off completely but we make a conscious effort to interact with him rather than rely on electronic media to be a "babysitter."  I think the benefits are well worth it.  When we need him to be "distracted" while we do laundry or cook dinner, he will entertain himself by sitting in a corner with a book or will play by himself with his lego blocks building things and creatively exploring the world around him.  Since he's never known television, he doesn't "need" to have it.  In today's society, I know our time of him being "media-free" is rapidly closing as he gets older.  This will be a challenge to go as long without media exposure for baby #2 but we're going to try.  Our children may not yet know the theme song to Sesame Street or know who Yo Gabba Gabba is but they can figure it out when they're older or they can read about it in a good book.

Moving From a Crib to a Bed

Tonight is the first night we've decided to transition our two year old from a crib to a bed.  His little sibling is expected to arrive in about 11 weeks and we need the crib for the new baby.  I have been reading up about this topic and hope the things I have read about will work.  I have read that most babies are ready for the "transition" between 2 and 3 years old.  They also say it is better to do the transition at least 4-8 weeks before the new baby arrives.  This is to ensure the toddler doesn't think the baby is "taking" their crib.  My toddler has figured out how to climb out of the crib even when the mattress is at its lowest point which they say is also a good time to consider switching to a bed.  We placed his bed on the floor (without a box spring mattress under it) with one side against the wall and the other with a bed rail.  We placed the bed in the same location as his crib in the room.

We are using his dad's old childhood bed.  We have told him that this was "a big boy bed" and he seemed excited about it.  He's also slept in a bed before when we were on vacation but that was a couple of months ago.  He did well at that time but he could have just been exhausted from our travels.  I am hoping that with our frequent trips, he has become accustomed to sleeping in different surroundings.  We put all of his blankets on the crib (he sleeps with 5 specific blankets) in the hopes it makes the transition easier.  He looks tiny on the twin mattress and hope he doesn't move around too much overnight.  I also gave him a pillow for the first time which he seems to really like.

He's also been sleeping through the night so I hope that continues with the transition.  Tonight, he fell asleep relatively easily.  I had to sit next to his bed until he fell asleep and kept checking to make sure I was there.  I don't want to make that a habit so any suggestions you have to make the transition easier would be greatly appreciated!  I am hoping he stays asleep through the night and we are not awakened by a toddler in our bedroom.  Wish us luck!